Okay, people...here's the pic you've been waiting for!! The Giant Golden Hootie!!!!
Now, it is about 35 or 40 feet tall and about 12-15 feet wide. You can't really tell that...but it truly is GIANT. Now, imagine John and me getting off of the elevator, turning to our right trying to find the Women's Oncology office and this is what we see. Too much!!
Here are some things that are bugging the crap out of me. First, with allergies flaring, every time I sneeze or cough, I piss myself! Makes me so mad. Women, you'll get this...the guys won't. I've made the "pad" industry very happy over the last few weeks. Precaution is a must. I know it's going to happen...just never know WHEN. It goes like this...SNEEZE, Piss a little, CUSS, go to change pad. YOU know what I'm talking about. Don't act like it's never happened to you, ladies! We're of the age now that it's inevitable. Do Kegal exercises work for that? Hmmm, I'll have to do some research on it.
I have always been a "sweater" like my Dad. It could be 20 below 0 and if I'm working hard at something...manual labor...I'm going to sweat. Also, if I'm just working a little...I'm going to sweat. However, I have sweated MORE since they yanked out my uterus and ovaries than I ever have. I'll be sitting, talking with JD or reading, or wasting time on FB & Pinterest...and out of the blue...my ears get hot then my face and the next thing I know, I'm sweating like a whore in church. Not just a little...full blown beads on my brow. It's hot enough under my vuluptuous breastages that I could cook dinner up in there! The sweating/hotflashes are on my penultimate nerve.
Socks. They elude me. I wash them, count them as I put them in the dryer. Dry them. Take the clothes out and as I'm folding and hanging...one of the socks is missing. I re-trace my steps to and from the laundry room to the bedroom, but no dice. Where the hell is that sock? So, I look down inside the pants, shirts...what have you, just in case it tumbled it's way into one of those hiding places. Nope. (Sing this next line to the tune of "Where Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone?"!) Where or where has that little sock gone?? Is it just me? I think not. I'm sure you all have this same problem...maybe? One day, I'm going to open the dryer door and there will be hundreds of socks in there...kinda like a Stephen King story. They'll have been buried in some Sock Cemetery and come back all raggedy and mean spirited with athlete's foot fungus in them, holes in the heels and toes, faded and frayed and the elastic all stretched out, smelling of sweat and rancid foot odor, ready to jump out and strangle me with their non-elastic. Maybe I don't want to bring them back... Now, every time you open the dryer, you're going to think about that, aren't you? I'm laughing. :)
Happy October!
Now, it is about 35 or 40 feet tall and about 12-15 feet wide. You can't really tell that...but it truly is GIANT. Now, imagine John and me getting off of the elevator, turning to our right trying to find the Women's Oncology office and this is what we see. Too much!!
Here are some things that are bugging the crap out of me. First, with allergies flaring, every time I sneeze or cough, I piss myself! Makes me so mad. Women, you'll get this...the guys won't. I've made the "pad" industry very happy over the last few weeks. Precaution is a must. I know it's going to happen...just never know WHEN. It goes like this...SNEEZE, Piss a little, CUSS, go to change pad. YOU know what I'm talking about. Don't act like it's never happened to you, ladies! We're of the age now that it's inevitable. Do Kegal exercises work for that? Hmmm, I'll have to do some research on it.
I have always been a "sweater" like my Dad. It could be 20 below 0 and if I'm working hard at something...manual labor...I'm going to sweat. Also, if I'm just working a little...I'm going to sweat. However, I have sweated MORE since they yanked out my uterus and ovaries than I ever have. I'll be sitting, talking with JD or reading, or wasting time on FB & Pinterest...and out of the blue...my ears get hot then my face and the next thing I know, I'm sweating like a whore in church. Not just a little...full blown beads on my brow. It's hot enough under my vuluptuous breastages that I could cook dinner up in there! The sweating/hotflashes are on my penultimate nerve.
Socks. They elude me. I wash them, count them as I put them in the dryer. Dry them. Take the clothes out and as I'm folding and hanging...one of the socks is missing. I re-trace my steps to and from the laundry room to the bedroom, but no dice. Where the hell is that sock? So, I look down inside the pants, shirts...what have you, just in case it tumbled it's way into one of those hiding places. Nope. (Sing this next line to the tune of "Where Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone?"!) Where or where has that little sock gone?? Is it just me? I think not. I'm sure you all have this same problem...maybe? One day, I'm going to open the dryer door and there will be hundreds of socks in there...kinda like a Stephen King story. They'll have been buried in some Sock Cemetery and come back all raggedy and mean spirited with athlete's foot fungus in them, holes in the heels and toes, faded and frayed and the elastic all stretched out, smelling of sweat and rancid foot odor, ready to jump out and strangle me with their non-elastic. Maybe I don't want to bring them back... Now, every time you open the dryer, you're going to think about that, aren't you? I'm laughing. :)
Happy October!
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