College Flashback: tampon snowmen, drugs and fire farts.

Flashback: College...1985, the first year of my collegiate education. I lived in room 710 of Towers North. We didn't have money to spend on Christmas decorations, so, I drove out to Trail of Tears State Park and along the way, I decided to cut down one of those tiny little perfect trees on the side of the road. Seriously, it was Charlie Brown all the way...except it was actually shaped like a Christmas tree! It was about two feet tall...just big enough to sit on top of a little table in front of the window!

I have no idea who was with me during this horrible crime spree, but it doesn't matter....it could have been any single one of you reading this!

Got back to the dorm room only to realize....we had no decorations! So, I dug in my desk drawer and found some black and red felt....don't ask me why, I have absolutely no clue why I had felt in my dorm room.

Then, I realized I had tampons! So, we took the tampons out of the applicator, fluffed them up a bit, used markers to decorate faces, button and such, used the felt for top hats and scarves and Voila!! Instant snowmen with automatic hangers!!! YEP! That was awesome. We made small paper chains out of red and green construction paper and it was a fantastic Christmas tree!!

I did that the next year too, my sophomore year living in the dorm with my sister when she was a freshman! We had hot pink curtains in our dorm window. Yes, dorm life was a learning experience for me. When I moved into the dorm 2 weeks before school started my freshman year ...because we had marching band camp, there were only a handful of girls that were there early. The second day after I moved in, I showered and got ready to go to Brandt Music Hall, and as I walked down the hallway to leave, one of the girls I had met the day before had her door wide open and as I stopped to say hello to her, I then realized she was snorting lines of cocaine off of a mirror at her desk. I couldn't believe it. I told her if she was going to be stupid enough to do that, she should at least close the door so she wouldn't get caught, kicked out and arrested before school even started!!! That was the first of many eye opening experiences for this naive kid from Farmington!

One of the girls who lived down the hall was a hoot! She introduced me to Violent Femmes! Thank you, Sherri!! One night, the music was blasting, people had their doors open and basically everyone was being roudy! Michele and I were sitting in our dorm room with the door slung wide open when in ran two of our friends from down the hall, Sherri being one of them. They didn't say a word...Sherri, from now on to be known as the "mooner", turned around and mooned us...okay...funny...but then, the other girl bent over behind the mooner's ass and the mooner let one fly while the other girl lit it on fire with a lighter....that had been turned up on high...I have never laughed so hard in my life! They didn't say a word....just ran out! I had never seen anything like that before....and I have to say...since! :) Hysterical!

Oh, the memories...but for now, that is all!! :)

Swimming, Soup and Prayers.

Let me just start by saying this: Today was the first day of swimming laps on my weight loss journey...tomorrow I will do low impact water aerobics for 45 minutes and hopefully, I'll be able to walk out to my car afterward! Pain...yes, pain. I only swam 12 laps because that's all my joints would allow me to do....I'm in so much pain right now....shoulders and knees...."holy crap!" As Frank would say on Everybody Loves Raymond! (Yes, I still watch the reruns...too much like John's family not to!) Anyhoo, I think I may have to take some pain killers just to be able to do this....Isn't that freakin' pathetic?? Oh well, soon the knees will be replaced and I'll be able to walk again without cringing with every step.

The positives: It felt FANTASTIC  in the pool swimming today. Being in the water is such a relaxing way to gather my thoughts and focus on the task at hand. And swimming isn't like running laps or miles...at least for me it isn't....when I was able to run, I'd be counting down and thinking "I can't wait to get this finished!" When I'm swimming, I don't feel that way at all. I love swimming....everything about it. The soft glide of the silky water over my skin, the feeling of weightlessness, the feel of the parting of the water with the tips of my fingers as I push my way through to the next stroke. I LOVE IT. Then, I get out. Holy shit! That's when my knees scream "Beeeaaatch, you still fat and we still worn da hell down!" And then, I'm back to my reality. The reality that I still have to waddle my way the length of the building and to the parking lot to my car. I'd say, it's pretty bad when you dread the walk to the car and NOT the actual work out! But, that's the way it is. I've done this to myself. Well, weight wise I have. I had no control over the RA and the Osteo. That evidently was inherited from one of my Mom's poor cousins who had juvenile onset RA. I can't even imagine that horror. And that was back in the days before they had meds for it. I just shudder to think what that kind of pain would have been like without any meds to counteract the symptoms and the pain...and she was a young kid! Like 6 or 7... Makes me sick. It also makes me thankful for the medical advances we have today and the fact that I'm benefiting from them! 

When I graduated from high school in 1985, I was 5'91/2". I loved being tall! Everything about it! This summer when they measured my height again right before the hysterectomy, I was 5'6". I kid you not. I can't get over it. I knew I was shorter...because I can't reach the top shelves anymore, my sister is taller than me now, and John is taller than me. I've always been taller...it's just such a shock to my system. My knees and my spine have deteriorated to the point that I've lost 3 and a half inches in height???? REALLY???? Unbefreakingleavable. That is called an "infix" by the way. Anytime you insert a word inside another word, it's called an infix...yes, I know I've talked about this before, but some of you may not have read that post all those months ago...and everyone should know how to use an infix. Especially when you're good and upset!!! Then they just seem to fly off of the tongue without any problems whatsoever!! 

For tonight's supper, I've made homemade Turkey Vegetable Soup using 50% less sodium beef broth, ground turkey, purple cauliflower, tomatoes, onions, celery, carrots, corn, peas, celery and various herbs. It smells fantastic! I hope it's as good as my actual Beef Vegetable Soup...because today's is a much healthier version that John and I both need! I'll let ya know how it turns out!

I'd like to talk about our St. Louis Cardinals. They didn't win the pennant last night...the SF Giants did...which means they won't be going to the World Series as you all well know. However, as all TRUE Cardinals fans do...I'm already looking forward to next season! And as I said last night...congrats to the Giants! The World Series won't be as exciting to watch without them, but it's baseball and ya gotta love baseball no matter who is playing!! :)

For those of you who read this blog, I'd like for you to sign up on FB on my Bitch Slap Cancer page. I think some people have not signed up to be a member of it because of the title. I feel kinda bad about that, but I'm not going to change the name. Bitch slapping cancer is exactly the mentality we all need to have for those of us who are living through it...I told a close friend of mine recently that I'm trying very hard not to be scared shitless about my next 3 month check up in November. At first, I thought that every three months was a good thing...now, all I do is worry that Dr. Carlson is going to find that it has started to grow again. I wake up sick to my stomach about it at night. I've never been a worrier...ever. I deal with things as they come, so this constant fear that I have about this ridiculous disease is really bothering me. I pray, I meditate, I'm getting healthy again. I also pray for all of my friends and family...I'm asking that you all continue to pray and send positive vibes for both John and myself! Every little bit helps, right?? Okay, enough of that! Time to go stir that soup!!

Ciao! Love and Hugs,
Carolinn:)

Stuck Broccoli, Dead Battery and Potosi, MO Fire Dept.

Two weeks ago tomorrow, my oldest brother, Bob had a massive heart attack..AND SURVIVED IT. He then had a quadruple bypass which he came through just fine and is now home recovering...and is way ahead of schedule according to his home healthcare nurse! This story I'm about to tell...takes place on Thursday, after his surgery on Tuesday. 

Michele, my younger sister, and I decided we'd drive to St. Louis to Missouri Baptist Hospital to visit with Bob and our family. When we got to Cuba, MO- driving from Springfield, MO-we stopped to grab a Teriaki Chicken Rice Bowl from Jack in the Box, put on our make-up (we'd left really early and neither one of us had time to finish getting ready after our showers) and use the restroom.

Chele went in and got our food, went to the bathroom while I put on my make-up. Then, we ate in the car. Now, this next part is crazy. I have a spot in my esophagus where every once in a while, if I don't chew up my food well....it gets stuck in that spot. Gross, right...just wait.

So, I'm eating my broccoli and rice, I swallow and I immediately realize I'm in trouble...usually, getting up and walking around and sipping water washes it down...but sometimes....it doesn't go DOWN. So, I'm standing next to the car thinking....what am I going to do? I see the trash can...over by the DRIVE THRU- and walk over to it. (Why I didn't walk inside to the bathroom, I'll never know.) I had my glass of tea from earlier in the morning...that was down to ice-in my hand...so it wasn't much help in the sipping department. There were no cars in the drive thru, thank goodness....oh, wait...here comes one....two...three....ah hell.

I know it's going to have to come up...because the liquid I was sipping wasn't moving it and it was filling up the top section of my esophagus...yeah, gross. I had my back to the car where Chele was sitting...watching me, trying to figure out what I was looking at in the trash! She said to me " I thought...what in the world is she looking at in the trash can? That's gross!" Yeah, well...not as gross as what was about to happen.

Chele got out of the car and walked over to me and I turned around...she said..."what's wrong?" I told her....she got a bottle of water for me....still no broccoli movement. I told her....I'm going to have to hurl...get back into the car...but give me those napkins first... go back to the car! She said that I said it like someone was about to stab us or something!

So, me...trying to be considerate of the people in the drive thru...turned my back to them and was able to get the piece of broccoli out of my esophagus along with the water and rice, quickly with no problems. Okay, now people...it wasn't vomiting...it was just in my esophagus....not in my stomach. Still...GROSS, I know...

So, I go back to the car, rinse my mouth out and pop a piece of sugar free cinnamon gum in for good measure. Michele is laughing her ass off at me...and I said, at least I turned my back to those poor people in the drive-thru!!

"Are you ready?" I asked....
"Let's go!" she said while laughing.
I turned the key in the ignition...nothing. I look at the knob for the lights...I'd left them on! We were in John's car...and I'm used to my car where you never have to turn the lights on and off....it's on auto...not in John's Taurus. Whoops.

So, I'm thinking fast...could call our roadside assistance but that will take forever...

I got out went inside and asked the employees (there was no one in the dining room) if anyone had jumper cables. Nope, none of the 5 people had any.

I go back outside. I ask a lady in the parking lot....she didn't have any either.

I get back into the car and start to dial roadside assistance...and Chele says...hey, let's ask that guy in the black truck over in the corner...I get out and get about halfway across the lot when I realize....oh shit....that's the guy that was in the drive thru when I was hurling broccoli and rice into the trashcan. I turned around and went back to the car and tell Chele that and she starts laughing again. However, I decide it would be faster than waiting on roadside assistance if he indeed does have any jumper cables. I stand up again, and brace myself to speak to the "I saw you puking in the drive thru while I was ordering guy."( BIG sigh.)

I go over to the "in the drive thru while I'm puking guy"...he gets out and checks, he doesn't have any....he was very sweet...maybe he didn't notice??? Yeah. right.

As I'm getting back into the car yet again, up drives a Potosi, MO fire and rescue truck and several people get out of it. I jump into action...and ask them for help....THEY were awesome. They jumped our car, I got their picture, names and an email address so that I could send it to the Daily Journal newspaper in Farmington...to put in their section "Caught you doing something good."

The trip was less eventful as the day wore on...and Bob was doing very well...and it was great seeing our other brothers and sisters and of course, our sweet, 84 year old mom at the hospital!

Here's a shout out to the Potosi Fire Department and the crew that just happened to be in Cuba for a demonstration at one of the schools that day! Thanks a million guys!!!

If only you would have shown up about 5 minutes earlier, I wouldn't have asked the guy from the drive thru in the big, black truck who probably saw me hurl into the trash can as he was ordering his food...if he had any jumper cables!!! :) Uugggghhh.

GGH PHOTOS, Sneezing, Coughing & Killer Socks

Okay, people...here's the pic you've been waiting for!! The Giant Golden Hootie!!!!

Now, it is about 35 or 40 feet tall and about 12-15 feet wide. You can't really tell that...but it truly is GIANT. Now, imagine John and me getting off of the elevator, turning to our right trying to find the Women's Oncology office and this is what we see. Too much!! 

Here are some things that are bugging the crap out of me. First, with allergies flaring, every time I sneeze or cough, I piss myself! Makes me so mad. Women, you'll get this...the guys won't. I've made the "pad" industry very happy over the last few weeks. Precaution is a must. I know it's going to happen...just never know WHEN. It goes like this...SNEEZE, Piss a little, CUSS, go to change pad. YOU know what I'm talking about. Don't act like it's never happened to you, ladies! We're of the age now that it's inevitable. Do Kegal exercises work for that? Hmmm, I'll have to do some research on it. 

I have always been a "sweater" like my Dad. It could be 20 below 0 and if I'm working hard at something...manual labor...I'm going to sweat. Also, if I'm just working a little...I'm going to sweat. However, I have sweated MORE since they yanked out my uterus and ovaries than I ever have. I'll be sitting, talking with JD or reading, or wasting time on FB & Pinterest...and out of the blue...my ears get hot then my face and the next thing I know, I'm sweating like a whore in church. Not just a little...full blown beads on my brow. It's hot enough under my vuluptuous breastages that I could cook dinner up in there! The sweating/hotflashes are on my penultimate nerve.

Socks. They elude me. I wash them, count them as I put them in the dryer. Dry them. Take the clothes out and as I'm folding and hanging...one of the socks is missing. I re-trace my steps to and from the laundry room to the bedroom, but no dice. Where the hell is that sock? So, I look down inside the pants, shirts...what have you, just in case it tumbled it's way into one of those hiding places. Nope. (Sing this next line to the tune of "Where Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone?"!) Where or where has that little sock gone?? Is it just me? I think not. I'm sure you all have this same problem...maybe? One day, I'm going to open the dryer door and there will be hundreds of socks in there...kinda like a Stephen King story. They'll have been buried in some Sock Cemetery and come back all raggedy and mean spirited with athlete's foot fungus in them, holes in the heels and toes, faded and frayed and the elastic all stretched out, smelling of sweat and rancid foot odor, ready to jump out and strangle me with their non-elastic. Maybe I don't want to bring them back... Now, every time you open the dryer, you're going to think about that, aren't you? I'm laughing. :)

Happy October! 

Siblings and Banana Bread.

I didn't realize today was Columbus Day, so my plans to make phone calls, go to the bank...blah blah blah...got changed really quickly! Instead, I've made Banana Bread using a new recipe I found on Pinterest. It uses honey and no sugar added applesauce instead of sugar and oil it also uses whole wheat flour, so it's healthier than the typical recipe. I added a little cinnamon and vanilla, so we'll see how it turns out!

My oldest brother, Bob, had a bad heart attack on Friday. They did a heart cath this morning only to find out that he has 9 blockages total...and will have a quintupple bypass on Wednesday, Oct. 10th. I feel so badly for him and Becky, his wife.

Bob is hilarious. He's always kidding around...(all of my siblings do) and he's so casual at being funny, that you can be having a serious conversation with him and he'll say something hysterical in a way that you think it's part of the serious conversation! He'll wait a second, and then he starts cracking himself up! He's really smart. In fact, all of my siblings are very intelligent...and they all have their own hilarious sense of humor. There's NEVER a dull moment when we're all together with our spouses and families...my three brothers smoke cigars and tell tall tales and try to out-do each other on the hilarity spectrum! My two sisters and I mix up some cocktails and keep each other in stitches with knowing glances, wise cracks, funny faces and that " I can read your mind and you're cracking my ass up" thing that all sisters have going on! Our 84 year old mom, just watches, shakes her head and smiles while intermittently interjecting her opinion about whatever is taking place at that time. I wish Dad was still with us so he could see us all, and enjoy all of their grand children and great grand children. He'd be a very happy man.

Our entire family (my brothers, sisters and their kids and grandkids) have never been together at the same time. Not ALL of us. If we were to get together...there would be a total of 39 of us. That's including spouses, one significant other, my brother's and sister's kids and grandchildren. My brother, Bob and his wife Becky-and John and myself- are the only ones out of the 6 of us Sullivan kids that don't have children.

For some reason, I'm really missing my Dad today. I have been for a few days. I think...he's been around me recently...in spirit or whatever that is that happens. I think my Grandma Dunn has been too. I've been seeing things out of the corner of my eye...like someone was walking by, or some kind of movement...and of course, when I look over...no one is there. Last night, I thought that John was walking down the hall toward me from the bedrooms. I was in the kitchen.  I was cooking and was facing the living room/hall way and "saw" him walking behind the couch toward the kitchen. When I looked up all of the way, there wasn't anyone there. John, was still taking a nap in bed. I immediately felt the presence of Dad...I don't know what made me think it was him, but...I did and do. I'm hoping that Bob is feeling Dad's presence today as he goes through all of this heart stuff. Hopefully, there will be some kind of comfort there.

I've got to take my Banana Bread out of the oven, so ta-ta for now.

Seeing Eye Poodles, Hedgeapples, and Giant Bubble Wrap

Here's the story about the "seeing eye Poodle".

About a month ago, John woke up early on a Saturday morning and couldn't see out of his right eye. He said it was a pink haze that he couldn't see through. So, off to the eye doctor we went. She took pictures again and immediately said it was a large bleed and we'd have to go to an ophthalmologist in Springfield. This past Monday, he got to see the new doc and had...(before I say this, those of you with eye phobias like me need to steady yourselves before you read this) an INJECTION of Avastin into his right eye. Yes, I was completely freaked out the entire time....I can deal with anything but I have a real problem with eyes...anyhoo, John was strong, and after a dye infusion (in his arm) for some really detailed photos and numerous tests, when they were prepping him to do this injection to lessen the edema of the retina and blood vessels, they placed several different drops to prep his eye...the first being the ones that numb the eye so that the rest of the drops aren't so very painful-and of course, so that the injection isn't as bad....(I'm gagging right now just typing this) Okay, so nurse number 1 put a big dot above his right eye to indicate that was the one to be worked on. They prepped the eye and the entire area around it with the yellowish brown Betadine. She adds the numbing drops, antibiotic drops and a million other drops..THEN, nurse number 2, who is obviously blind herself and you'll understand why I say that when you read this...puts more drops in his right eye and before John could say anything...she opens his left eye and throws some in there for good measure. John just about came out of his skin...but instead, he very calmly said..."Should my left eye feel like you just poured a teaspoon of salt in it?" The nurses and doctor turned around to him at once and she said "Oh no, I prepped the wrong eye!" At the same time the doc sternly said "NOT the left eye...flush it fast!" Meanwhile, John is trying not to squirm and kick the shit out of nurse number 2. He's in so much pain and his eye is burning so badly that he's beside himself, but still remained calm by doing breathing exercises. (I just puked in my mouth a little bit) While blind nurse number 2 flushes his left eye, the doc said, okay look to your left...John did and in went the needle. John said it was a little prick. Basically, it was nothing compared to the inferno assault that had been heaped into his left eye without any numbing drops ahead of time!  When we were leaving, the elevator doors opened and two of his nurses came out. I only recognized one of them. As we got onto the elevator, John points to nurse number two and said " that's the one who put the drops in the wrong eye!" The doors closed, and I said..."I wish you'd pointed her out sooner...I could have kicked her ass right here in front of the elevator...blind hag." I mean really, there's a big sticker dot right above his right eye and Betadine the color of baby poo all over his right eye, eyebrow and underneath it too...REALLY?!? You couldn't see that, you stupid wench?  We both laughed and down we went.

So, here's the before part that has to do with the original Poodle story. As we're sitting in the room waiting for the doc to come in, John says to me as he has many times since all this eye stuff started over a year ago..."at least if I go blind I'll be able to finally get my German Shepherd I've always wanted. He can be my seeing eye dog." Then he said..."However, if I'm blind...I wouldn't really know what kind of dog it was. They could say- oh yeah, this is a new breed of German Shepherd that has curly fur and a smaller stature. Then I'd be walking down the street with a seeing eye Poodle that I'd named Killer!" Of course, I'm cracking up and trying not to laugh too loud. Other people don't always appreciate our humor. Especially in doctors offices...everyone is so sick or worried or both...most people don't handle bad things by making fun...but, that's how we deal with the worst things that happen to us. I guess we're both just kinda wired like that. I just keep picturing John with a white fuzzy Poodle with big fur balls around it paws and tail and a pony tail up on it's head with a pink bow in it and John calling her "Killer"! Makes me smile every time.

Now, back to the injection. They made me read this four page information guide about the Avastin injection to John in the room while we waited on the Doc to do the eye injection. I start reading and I'm thinking to myself "geeze, I'll never get through all of this." So, I picked up the pace. The nurses kept coming in and out seemingly like they were irritated and wanted me to hurry, so I sped up the pace even more. John was sitting there laughing at me because I sounded like one of those tv commercials that tells you all of the side effects of a medication really fast toward the end of the commercial. You know, the ones that read really fast: may cause rash, coughing, diarrhea, impotence, blurry vision, bleeding, excessive sexual desires, cravings for prunes, edema, toe cramps, elongated ear lobes, hard nipples and discoloring of the skin. So, as I'm reading, we realized that the medicine Avastin is a chemotherapy drug that they use for colon cancer. John's Mom actually was on this chemo during her last round before she passed. And now, they were getting ready to inject it into his RIGHT eye.  As I read aloud to him, I was struck with the overwhelming feeling of being grateful for technology and the improvements in medicine over the years. I wouldn't be alive right now had it not been for these medical advances.

Update on the injection and seeing eye poodle. The injection did what it was supposed to do! So, he will have laser surgery to take care of the damage caused by the diabetes and high blood pressure in three weeks on his right eye and then later on the left. So, there is no need for Killer, the seeing eye Poodle! I have been revamping recipes to help both of us with eating less meat and to eat less foods that are high in purines which turn to uric acid and cause his Gout to be worse. Also, of course, less sugars...even more so than I have in the past for both of us. Gout is one of the most painful forms of arthritis. This has turned into a full time job just trying to come up with new recipes that are healthy but don't include high purine foods, low sugar, low fat, and low cholesterol. Of course, his favorite foods are high in purines...shellfish, asparagus, spinach, mushrooms...so, I'm working on delicious substitutes so he won't miss them so much! Thank goodness, most fruits and veggies are low in purines...so that helps a little!

New story that has nothing to do with John. Saturday, Michele, Camille and I went to the recycling center to empty our full bags of glass, plastic, papers and cardboard type things. We went back to their house, and for whatever reason, decided to pick up the Hedgeapples and Daron trimmed a few limbs so that the kids wouldn't run into them. So, we bagged all of the Hedgeapples and Daron put them in the back of his truck for Chele and myself to take back to the recycling center. As I was bent over rolling hedgeapples over to Michele, my flip flop caught on a clump of grass and my fat, cellulite laiden ass dropped to the hard ground and rolled around for a couple of seconds like a giant rolly polly with gray hair and blue eyes that wears Liz Claiborne perfume! Daron was standing right next to me but had his back to me and just saw what was happening out of the corner of his eye and turned just in time to put a hand out to try and help me as I hit the ground hard. I'm surprised the rest of the hedgeapples didn't fall off of the tree with that hard of an impact. I sat there, thinking to myself, "Well, shit! Have I broken anything?" The answer was no, but I sure am sore! Scared the crap out of Chele and Daron...but, I'm okay...just need to start wearing a suit made of bubble wrap that has those giant bubbles in it. I don't know, maybe they make that out of different colors so I can at least match it to some cute shoes! 

Well, friends...I'm looking forward to the Presidential debates this week! I'll write more in the next couple of days. Everyone have a fantastic week. Hugs.