Prepare This!

Today I'm turning 44 years old. I usually don't enjoy birthdays much....just like any other day except the realization that I'm one year older and still haven't made a big enough difference in the world! However, today is a little different. First of all, I get to spend this birthday at home...with John. It's a work day for him, but it's a snow day so he gets to stay home with me! I've already had a phone call from Michele, Kendrick and Camille who also have a snow day and so they sang "Happy Birthday" to me over the phone which was adorable! I love hearing little kid voices singing! When I turned 40, I truly felt terrible about it. I was miserable dealing with the RA and I just had this feeling of...how shall I say it...my life sucks. I don't feel like that now, I've learned how to cope with things that are out of my control- instead of stressing over them-I'm trying to stay positive and just let shit happen. I've never been a worrier and I don't want to be. But there is something to say about being prepared and I suppose that's what I am now...prepared. I prepared last week for Snowmaggedon, I prepare lunch and dinner, I prepare myself for good news, bad news and everything in between, I prepared myself for this 44th birthday, I prepare myself to brace against the pain of standing up for the first time in the mornings, I prepare for John to go to work, come home from work, I prepare to pay bills, I prepare to play piano or sing, I prepare to teach music...I've come to the conclusion that we are all the same...we are all prepared and we are all worriers. It only differs in how each of us individually reacts to the hours of preparedness that consumes our lives. For me, for today...I'm prepared to be loved. I'm going to enjoy the warmth, smiles, hugs, phone calls, cards, skypes, emails, FB postings, food, cake, and yes, a celebratory Crown and Diet Coke...(which is a true treat since I don't drink soda!!!). Today, I have prepared to be ME.