I just bitch-slapped uterine cancer. Of course, I did that with the help and support of Dr. Darren Lehnert, gynecologist- Dr. Jay Carlson, women's oncology surgeon- John, Michele and the rest of my family and friends. Inside, I'm completely healed. I still have a small wound on my abdomen from where the incision dehissed, but it is healing quickly. However, I am CANCER FREE at this point. Freakin' yeyyyyy for me!!!!!!!! :)
At my last post-op appointment, I was told "You two can start having sex again, but you might want to play with some different positions because you will be tender in there." Sex???? That is the last thing on my mind right now...we're so wrung out from the last three months of summer and John being back in school...and the fact that I still have a gash in my belly...yeah....sex isn't exactly what is on our minds right now! However, I'm POSITIVE we can work something out! :)
I'm amazed at how much less energy I have. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that the RA is ravaging my body even after being back on the meds for 6 weeks...I hope the meds kick in soon, because I'm getting ready to find some alternative pain medicating sources if they can't get this under control! :)
Now, every three months, I go back in for a pap smear. I bet you're wondering the same thing I was....a pap? What in the hell are they going to smear??? It's all GONE! (thank goodness, btw!) Well, here's what happens. When you have uterine cancer and a complete hysterectomy, they sew the area where the cervix was closed. So that's the top of the hootie! That is where the pap is taken, because that is where the cancer will show first if it returns. So, for the next two years, I will be visiting my hootie oncologist every three months to have a pap of my non-cervix!
On a more serious note, I want those of you who have never been into a women's oncology office to picture what I have experienced in the waiting room for the last few months. As you enter the waiting room, the first thing that you notice is that there are several men sitting in there, reading, drinking coffee and trying to look casual. They are the husbands, fathers, brothers, sons and friends of the women who are in the stirrups just through "the door" - the door that leads to terror as well as healing. All of the men looked up at me-every single appointment- as I enter the room...and they all smiled at me...as if to say..."I understand what you're going through...and I'm sorry." As they sit there trying to be strong for their loved one who is on the other side of "the door", it makes me grateful that I have such a healthy support network of friends and family. Then, I'm stunned. Out of "the door" comes one of the stricken women. She comes out, walking ever so slowly with the aid of a walker and a beautiful scarf wrapped around her bare head, obviously the loss of her hair is from chemo or radiation treatments. Her man jumped up with her purse on his arm and was right by her side helping her through the maze of chairs to get out of the office. I am not her. I almost feel guilty about that. She is so very sick, so very weak, so very quiet. I am not her. I'm healthy-cancer free. But she isn't. Not yet, at least. Or, maybe never. It's so very unfair...shitty turn of events for her. Her inner strength was so obvious though, as she made it through "the door". All I could think was...I am sooooo thankful that we found my uterine cancer when we did. So many of the women in that room look like that, then there are the ones who look like there's absolutely nothing wrong. Such a drastic difference. Such a drastic emotion for me. It's an emotion I've never felt before, a combination of pity, horror, gratitude, relief, stress and exhaustion. How is it possible to feel all of those things in one single moment in time? I'm not sure, but I did.
Now, I have to schedule my annual mammogram. Love that annual trip to the tit-squisher. Let's hope there aren't any problems there.
I'm going to enjoy this week. Watched the Republican National Convention last week and am watching the Democratic National Convention this week. It doesn't get anymore fun than this! Political positions are the stuff of good television ...if you can hold two opposing thoughts in your head without it exploding!
Everyone have a fantastic week. To all of my music education friends and family members, I hope you are singing, playing and teaching with enthusiasm!! Have a fantastic, productive school year! I will personally continue healing and getting my strength back! Hugs! :)
At my last post-op appointment, I was told "You two can start having sex again, but you might want to play with some different positions because you will be tender in there." Sex???? That is the last thing on my mind right now...we're so wrung out from the last three months of summer and John being back in school...and the fact that I still have a gash in my belly...yeah....sex isn't exactly what is on our minds right now! However, I'm POSITIVE we can work something out! :)
I'm amazed at how much less energy I have. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that the RA is ravaging my body even after being back on the meds for 6 weeks...I hope the meds kick in soon, because I'm getting ready to find some alternative pain medicating sources if they can't get this under control! :)
Now, every three months, I go back in for a pap smear. I bet you're wondering the same thing I was....a pap? What in the hell are they going to smear??? It's all GONE! (thank goodness, btw!) Well, here's what happens. When you have uterine cancer and a complete hysterectomy, they sew the area where the cervix was closed. So that's the top of the hootie! That is where the pap is taken, because that is where the cancer will show first if it returns. So, for the next two years, I will be visiting my hootie oncologist every three months to have a pap of my non-cervix!
On a more serious note, I want those of you who have never been into a women's oncology office to picture what I have experienced in the waiting room for the last few months. As you enter the waiting room, the first thing that you notice is that there are several men sitting in there, reading, drinking coffee and trying to look casual. They are the husbands, fathers, brothers, sons and friends of the women who are in the stirrups just through "the door" - the door that leads to terror as well as healing. All of the men looked up at me-every single appointment- as I enter the room...and they all smiled at me...as if to say..."I understand what you're going through...and I'm sorry." As they sit there trying to be strong for their loved one who is on the other side of "the door", it makes me grateful that I have such a healthy support network of friends and family. Then, I'm stunned. Out of "the door" comes one of the stricken women. She comes out, walking ever so slowly with the aid of a walker and a beautiful scarf wrapped around her bare head, obviously the loss of her hair is from chemo or radiation treatments. Her man jumped up with her purse on his arm and was right by her side helping her through the maze of chairs to get out of the office. I am not her. I almost feel guilty about that. She is so very sick, so very weak, so very quiet. I am not her. I'm healthy-cancer free. But she isn't. Not yet, at least. Or, maybe never. It's so very unfair...shitty turn of events for her. Her inner strength was so obvious though, as she made it through "the door". All I could think was...I am sooooo thankful that we found my uterine cancer when we did. So many of the women in that room look like that, then there are the ones who look like there's absolutely nothing wrong. Such a drastic difference. Such a drastic emotion for me. It's an emotion I've never felt before, a combination of pity, horror, gratitude, relief, stress and exhaustion. How is it possible to feel all of those things in one single moment in time? I'm not sure, but I did.
Now, I have to schedule my annual mammogram. Love that annual trip to the tit-squisher. Let's hope there aren't any problems there.
I'm going to enjoy this week. Watched the Republican National Convention last week and am watching the Democratic National Convention this week. It doesn't get anymore fun than this! Political positions are the stuff of good television ...if you can hold two opposing thoughts in your head without it exploding!
Everyone have a fantastic week. To all of my music education friends and family members, I hope you are singing, playing and teaching with enthusiasm!! Have a fantastic, productive school year! I will personally continue healing and getting my strength back! Hugs! :)
I am so glad you're better and I hope you and Uncle Johk get the time you need to just de-stress and relax!!!
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