I'm feeling a little stressed and a deep turqoise shade of blue this evening...so I'm going to play some word association. I'm going to take the first 20 words from the first 20 things I see right around me here on my desk and then type the word that I associate with them.
1. Scrabble = confused
2. Theatre = miss
3. Budget = broke
4. Sing = relaxation
5. Branson = shopping
6. College = do over
7. Planner = Dr. Gifford's WE Reunion
8. Mojito = summer
9. Rotars = expensive
10. French Horn = fun
11. Broadway = smiles
12. Photos = memories
13. Maps = travel
14. Turkey = sleepy
15. Melodious = energetic
16. Art Deco = pastels
17. Coconut = sunning
18. Lip Balm = soothing
19. John Devos = warmth
20. Dance = longing
Now, I'd say those are pretty typical answers...but then again...I'm in a funk. I find myself getting pissed off at the littlest things, and feeling forlorn about the big things. I listen to Camille recite poems to me out of her little book that was John's when he was about her age, four or five... and I can't help but smile through the tears that well up in my eyes. Her sweet, little voice and the innocence that it holds within it is overwhelming when I think that she starts Kindergarten next year. When school starts, the innocence is abruptly shattered forever. Part of growing up, but a sad part, me thinks.
The timeline of our lives is measured by distinct happenings. Some happenings are wonderful, some are sad, some are funny and some make you want to kick the shit out of somebody. When these "marks" are made on our timelines of life, they leave indelible memories for us that are a constant reminder of the paths not taken...or the paths taken, that shouldn't have been.
I am at a crossroads in my life. Unfortunately, any decisions that I make right now are at the mercy of a completely different timeline that I have no control over whatsoever. I'm doing my best to be the loving, considerate wife that John needs and the strong, decisive, motivated woman that I used to be. Not that those two ladies can't exist at the same time within me, they always have...I guess they're both a little tired right now.
The dishes are waiting, along with this weeks laundry and the dust that has accumulated since last Friday. I'd really like to be Samantha from Bewitched right now, and with a little rabbit like movement of my nose, have it all done and put away. But, I'm not magic and I'm not rich so a maid is also out of the question. So, off to do housework and pretend like I'm enjoying it...cest la vie.
1. Scrabble = confused
2. Theatre = miss
3. Budget = broke
4. Sing = relaxation
5. Branson = shopping
6. College = do over
7. Planner = Dr. Gifford's WE Reunion
8. Mojito = summer
9. Rotars = expensive
10. French Horn = fun
11. Broadway = smiles
12. Photos = memories
13. Maps = travel
14. Turkey = sleepy
15. Melodious = energetic
16. Art Deco = pastels
17. Coconut = sunning
18. Lip Balm = soothing
19. John Devos = warmth
20. Dance = longing
Now, I'd say those are pretty typical answers...but then again...I'm in a funk. I find myself getting pissed off at the littlest things, and feeling forlorn about the big things. I listen to Camille recite poems to me out of her little book that was John's when he was about her age, four or five... and I can't help but smile through the tears that well up in my eyes. Her sweet, little voice and the innocence that it holds within it is overwhelming when I think that she starts Kindergarten next year. When school starts, the innocence is abruptly shattered forever. Part of growing up, but a sad part, me thinks.
The timeline of our lives is measured by distinct happenings. Some happenings are wonderful, some are sad, some are funny and some make you want to kick the shit out of somebody. When these "marks" are made on our timelines of life, they leave indelible memories for us that are a constant reminder of the paths not taken...or the paths taken, that shouldn't have been.
I am at a crossroads in my life. Unfortunately, any decisions that I make right now are at the mercy of a completely different timeline that I have no control over whatsoever. I'm doing my best to be the loving, considerate wife that John needs and the strong, decisive, motivated woman that I used to be. Not that those two ladies can't exist at the same time within me, they always have...I guess they're both a little tired right now.
The dishes are waiting, along with this weeks laundry and the dust that has accumulated since last Friday. I'd really like to be Samantha from Bewitched right now, and with a little rabbit like movement of my nose, have it all done and put away. But, I'm not magic and I'm not rich so a maid is also out of the question. So, off to do housework and pretend like I'm enjoying it...cest la vie.
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